Personal Responsibility

This is more of a poll I would guess then a post... But all the same. What is personal responsibility?

Granted I find it hard to do laundry immediately before I need the laundry but I also pay my bills well before I need to. What defines that?

Perhaps because I was brought up poor I consider bills of utmost importance whilst appearance is vain because if you have the money to pay your bills who cares what you look like? Is that a direct result of my upbringing? Or is it a habit I cant grow out of. Granted I make sure I look like a million before I head to work but I find that my general philosphy follows me whereever. It seems like an aquired philosphy.

I look at it this way: If I'm on the phone with one of my friends or playing a game with them and my son begins to cry then they become annoyed with me when I sideline them to deal with immediate family. Of course the pretend to understand but the results of me doing that seem to persist with them for weeks if not months. To me... I think, well to hell with you. This is my son and if he is in distress I need to be there! That is my responsibility. The fact that my responsibility conflicts with your current emotional/thought process is not really my concern. Yet my friends in contrast think perversely, in my opinion, that if their at a bar or playing dungeons and dragons it is outright rude for me to disturb them. The tone of their voice, their reaction... its the same as when Im dealing with my son who is bleeding.

I guess it comes down to what people personally value. I value my family now among all else. My friends seem to value their personal entertainment above all else and perhaps that is because their not as a mature as I am or maybe because they do not have families of their own. Hell some never want families of their own which to me indicates perhaps they dont trust themselves enough to raise a family. (The irony of it all is to see the truth you must first have a family... Noone is smart enough to duplicate experience through thought alone... thats why even in this stage of our evolution... babies still wear diapers)

Now before we get out of control here... hehe... I know for a fact that their are many, many excuses that many of them present for their reasons to dodge life and to dodge responsibility but to me it seems almost every reason I have heard boils down to both a lack of personal confidence and more to the point: selfishness. Why would I want a kid? Why would a bring a kid into this world? Why do anything at all when everything is taken care of for me... etc etc... Its responsibility and to some degree morality.

All the same Im writing this more for me then for anyone else. I thought... seriously... long ago that I had surrounded myself with positive people. People who were hell bent on changing the world by, if nothing else, through their own actions. Lately though I am beginning to see that is not true. Instead I have surrounded myself with people who are attempting to find the easiest way to make it through to the point in time when they have no choice but to die. What am I to do with this?

Some of my friends think that I am an idiot for having kids and for taking on so much more then I should have to deal with. I don't see it that way and I think my choices have actually made me a better person. I take pride in everything I do these days. The one thing I am ashamed of is smoking. Its a habit I should have never taken up and one I should get rid of. The rest of my life has led me to here... the present and has prepared me for things I never thought I would ever have to deal with.

To those who think I forgot how to have fun... yeah... Im about to have a scotch and play some DDO. Sleep will come soon but I still do the things I have fun with but have downgraded the personal importance of my fun to my responsibility to my family. Family, Friends and then work are my priorities and in that order. Work does not trump friends and family and friends do not trump family. (And truth be told... nothing trumps my son)